By Ed Lively
August 28, 2024
In the intricate web of timelines, budgets, and deliverables that define project management, there exists a less tangible yet crucial thread—relationship skills. While Gantt charts and risk assessments are vital tools, it is the ability to connect, communicate, and collaborate that truly drives a project’s success. At the heart of every successful project is not just a well-crafted plan but a team whose constructive collaboration stems from strong interpersonal connections.
In this article, we will explore how mastering relationship skills are not just soft skills, but the foundation on which project management and everything in life are built. Negotiations, presentations, leadership, and management all work better when relationships between the parties are good. Let us look at three main components of relationships (and therefore teams.)
Respect
Respect between people manifests in several ways. Respect for culture, for ideas, and respect for the person. One important way that respect is demonstrated is by listening to others even if one disagrees with them.
Rapport
Rapport is having a good relationship with others, how you connect with them. The way you build rapport is to have conversations with each other and to learn about each other. The strongest kind of rapport is when you find something of a common interest.
Trust
Trust between team members is determined by three factors:
- Competency – others can trust you can do what you say you can do
- Integrity – you do what you say you will do
- Transparency – you are willing to share something of yourself with others and not withhold information that others need to do their jobs
It appears that all cultures value these three areas of behavior. The ways in which these relationship elements develop can differ. Differ in terms of time, status, and what is meant by each. There are cultural values that affect the quality of the relationship such as placing family before anything else, including work.
When should you start building a relationship? The wrong time is just before something is needed from others. Think of a salesperson who wants to be your best friend while trying to sell you something. Building a relationship takes time. If you try to rush it, the result will be just the opposite. You tend to cause distrust and distance. The best approach is to start with the first introduction and progress slowly and be sincere about your desire to want a good relationship. Individuals can sense when you are putting on an act. You need to be authentic.
If you are having difficulties, particularly with rapport, check two things. Look at your posture and voice. Try mirroring and pacing to diagnose your body language and paralinguistics (voice quality and other attributes). In mirroring (not mimicking) you observe the other person’s body position and slowly approximate that position. With your voice try to match the quality, volume, and speed of their speech. Most people are comfortable with people of similar characteristics.
One significant role of a project manager is to maintain engagement with all key stakeholders. One approach taught is to assess stakeholders on various attributes such as power and interest. Understanding who your stakeholders are and their attitude towards your project and project team helps you decide best how to engage them. If you find you have a resistor, building a better relationship is a good first step. Try to move a resistor to neutral and a neutral attitude to a supporter. Again slow, and sincere are the keys.
In the end, project management is not just about managing tasks—it is about leading people. By cultivating strong relationship skills, project managers can turn challenges into opportunities and teams into high-performing units that consistently deliver success.
Ed Lively brings a wealth of experience to the project management field as a practitioner, presenter, mentor, and author. His multidimensional skills allow him to teach 52 different classes in three core subject areas: negotiation and conflict resolution skills, all aspects of project management and team leadership.
