The Platinum Rule for Project Managers, Grateful Best Practices
By Dr. Tresia D. Eaves
June 18, 2025
Attitude of Gratitude
What if we were treated as WE wanted to be treated rather than the way the retailer, business, supervisor, partner, or other party wanted to treat us – based on their own paradigms? This is what the internet is bringing about: when we search for something on Google, ads get routed to us through various channels trying to sell us what WE want rather than what they think we want as they did before. This could also be transformational in business as a whole: performance management (you can reward me in the ways I want to be rewarded, not some corporate standard based on what the company WANTS to give me) or in customer service where you give the customer choices, and they choose what works best for them. You are seeing great applications of this thought process in customer loyalty programs where people now have a choice of their rewards.
In this section, we’ll explore the “Attitude of Gratitude” and how we choose to be grateful. It’s easy to be grateful for the good things: health, success, loving spouse, children who grow into wonderful adults, etc. Where it gets messy is when things aren’t good: illness, divorce, lost friendships, etc. I’ve often struggled with being grateful in hard times. Judy Umlas teaches us with the “5 C’s of Acknowledgment” including Consciousness, Choice, Courage, Communications, and Commitment and how to be grateful in our leadership styles. How do we promote gratitude for the things that don’t go well? Judy talks about this through the C for Choice, the C for Courage, and I’ll implore you to always choose gratitude, even in the hard times and there are several reasons why. Give yourself permission to take as much time as you need to find those “silver linings” of the bad times but commit to looking for them.
Truly happy people are grateful for the lessons from the hard times.
The lessons that we can learn from trials like the loss of a relative, a cancer diagnosis, or a failed relationship strengthen us. That old adage, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger” is sometimes true. We can realize our grit, strength of character, integrity, and resilience through these hard times. Unfortunately, we don’t usually learn as much from the easy times as we do from the hard times. These hard times call our attention to the areas of our person that need work. If we are broken-hearted, how amazing is it when you arrive on the other side of the pain to say, “I just hope they can be happy,” and close that chapter to move forward. I have worked at Citi since October of 2021 and I came into the role to work for someone who I had worked for before and greatly respect. One thing she’s taught me, through her many years of mentorship, is to be grateful for the challenges in life. Her advice here was based on her own understanding that she can only get better, as a leader, as a spouse, as a mother, by learning what she needs to improve. If it’s smooth sailing your whole life, how will you ever know your strength? The bad times are inevitable so how about we try to find the good things we can take from those experiences? Believe me, it can take some time. It’s also much easier said than done in some cases.
Grateful people are healthier and more resilient to life’s challenges.
When I started at Citi, they have an application you can load to your phone that pays you when you get exercise, eat well, get enough sleep, etc., on a consistent basis. Right away, I noticed that there was a tracker for being grateful to someone each day. I couldn’t wait to write this article so Judy Umlas could read how a 200,000-person organization realizes the health advantages of acknowledging at least one person per day. According to the Mayo Clinic, “Expressing gratitude is associated with a host of mental and physical benefits. Studies have shown that feeling thankful can improve sleep, mood and immunity. Gratitude can also decrease depression, anxiety, difficulties with chronic pain and risk of disease.”
Grateful people are more optimistic, confident and have a fine-tuned perspective of learning what they don’t know.
In his podcast, “A Bit of Optimism,” Episode 8, Simon Sinek talks with Carolyn Adams about her experiences as a person of color when she entered a newly formed dance company. She talked about teaching people rather than just teaching choreography and dance. Adams focused on helping people open their receptors to learning and helping people learn to be the best version of themselves. She reflected on a conversation with someone who was talking about a racial slur they had overheard from a mutual acquaintance. Adams talked about responding that they had said the slur because they were likely raised that way. The person responded that he was also raised that way and he made a choice to learn beyond the way he had been raised. This speaks to the courage and confidence to evolve beyond how you were raised, to leave behind any of the bad baggage from our younger years. Sinek says later that we can be grateful for something at the end of each day and that gives us the perspective to see the good in the world and in others. Adams talks about her last words to her dying mother were, “Thank you for everything” who she lost when her mother was 103. Sinek then talked about how the chemical oxytocin and the benefits from that chemical in our bodies from being grateful, showing gratitude, or even seeing someone be grateful to someone else. This means that being grateful actually makes the world a better place where we can be more optimistic, confident, and develop a fine-tuned perspective on what really matters in life.
Are you finding things to be grateful for after the hard times? Are you ending each day with at least one thing you are grateful for? Decide to get the benefits of an, “Attitude of Gratitude” in your life and leadership practices. Find or develop the courage to choose gratitude for your own well-being, the same for all those around you, and you can change the world!
Dr. Tresia D. Eaves
Dr. Tresia Eaves, PMP, SAFe Agilist, CSM, has 30 years of technology consulting and information technology leadership experience. She is also an author, adjunct professor, public speaker, and proud veteran of the US Air Force. She earned her doctorate from the University of North Texas, and her area of study was Information Science. Dr. Eaves is a published author with her book, “Above and Beyond: The Secrets of Outstanding Project Leadership” published in 2014 by IIL and multiple other articles in professional and academic journals. She is the founder and owner of Variant Enterprises, LLC where she consults with commercial and government organizations using her world class project management skills.
Reach out to Dr. Eaves at DrTresiaEaves@variantenterprisesllc.com, or connect with her on LinkedIn at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tresia-eaves-phd-agilist-pmp/
